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How do you know you’re going to become friends with a new person you’ve just met?
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Friendships are an interesting thing. And I think the way we form them has evolved over the years. It used to be someone you meet and see regularly. The internet and social media in particular have shrunk the world immeasurably. The fact that I can have theoretical connections with people in all parts of the world would have been impossible not too many decades ago.
From my perspective, my friendship circle hasn’t changed all that much over the years. I’ve gained a few here, and others have fallen by there. But there are a few “more recent” friendships that I think have been a bit different. You see, most childhood friendships stem from one or two shared interests and that was enough.
As we grow older, I think there has to be more than that to it. In recent years, I have made some connections through my book review blog. I connected initially over books. Then, in the instance of a few authors who I’ve reviewed multiple books for, we chatted over other things. Over time, mutual interests emerged and friendships began. In one instance we’ve never met in person, but talk most weekends. In another, we have met once, and chat regularly over social media, sharing our interest in books and writing and support one another.
In short, I don’t think making friends is an instant realisation now, as much as a period of getting to know someone. But that does require something that would connect us and start the conversations.
I’ve made many internet friends I’ve never met, as you have. Our common interest is either books or that we grew up in London and so have similar childhood memories.
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Yes, I find it very similar.
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As you said, friendships seem to take longer to develop as we get older.
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It’s interesting in these modern times due to social media and the immensity of parasocial connection. People on both sides of the coin struggle a great deal to fully understand the difference between Parasocial and real friendship. It’s gotten dangerous for some.
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I definitely think there is risk with social media friendships. I’ve been lucky thus far, but it never pays to be complacent.
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